He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All the doctor said was why
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
