i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
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