how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
