Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
