So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
