I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
