Can i not drive my cunt home
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He has the fingertips of a God
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