put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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