I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
