I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
