i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the day after is always just damage control
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
