I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
