i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize