no, he came in my armpit
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize