Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
