another moral hangover. fuck.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
