No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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