She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
