my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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