If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
