I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
