Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
