He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
