He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just gift wrapped bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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