We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
