Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
