Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
