I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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