Walk of Shame. In a state park.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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