oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize