Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
