I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
