So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
