It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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