You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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