Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
