I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
