Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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