dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
