Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
