He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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