Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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