He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
