she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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