U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
birth control should be required to get into college
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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