you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize