Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
