Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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