Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
