you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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