Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
