normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
