you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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