You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize