oh god the rape fog is back!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
