i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
