It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
