I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
God, I missed his penis.
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