I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize