omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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