South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
