his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
